i don't know this girl but her blog is awesome.

how i feel about moving. 

hey holler hey

so remember how this time last year we found out i was pregnant?
well...
i'm not pregnant.

but we are moving.
to the desert.
really fast.

wes got a job at amangiri, a resort near lake powell he's had his eye on for awhile. it's a really great opportunity. aman resorts are a big deal in the resort world, so to get his foot in the door at this company is awesome.

weston is good at stuff guys.

he starts at the end of the month, so we're moving in three weeks. we have to be out of this apartment asap because our landlord won't post it until we're out (we have two months left on our contract. if you wanna move to springville give me a call) so we're moving to sojo this weekend.

lots of feelings. a lot of excitement. a lot of nervousness. sad to leave springville, family, friends, and just the general familiarity of where we've both lived for the last three years. excited to live somewhere totally different and kind of break out on our own and stuff.

we're determined to become outdoorsy people. it's beautiful down there, and it's definitely a place to be outdoorsy. tips appreciated. go easy, we're beginners.

right now the place we're looking at is in big water, utah. population: 400. oh heeeey. we'll be 15 minutes from the buzzing metropolis of page, arizona.

i'm so, so proud of weston, and we're both excited to take on this new adventure. details forthcoming as they develop.

update on elsie:

3 months old! her new favorite hobby is yelling. not crying-yelling just yelling because she found out she can make that noise. so she does it all day long. she also laughs a lot, mostly at weston. though i don't think she's really figured out that her hands are attached to her, she does use them to put whatever she can grab (like my hair, fuzzy blankets, etc) into her mouth like so:

mostly elsie is a totally delightful baby. she hardly ever cries, and when she does it's only because she wants to be fed or go to sleep or because ashley bright is around (haaaaha). i also don't know what we did to deserve this, but she sleeps from about 9:00-6:30. please bless she keeps it up. 

she likes to sit in her bouncy chair and kick REALLY HARD and if she catches you looking at her she kicks faster with this really determined look on her face. elsie doesn't really dig on eye contact if you're trying to have a one-on-one conversation with her, much like her mother.

i wanted to post a video of elsie laughing but as soon as i started recording she stopped, so mostly it's just a video of me making a really obnoxious noise (that made her laugh at one point) and her staring at the camera. someday maybe.

kiss kiss

in which i get "cause-y"

while i'm still skeptical about the kony 2012 campaign, i do think it deserves credit for stirring people up and causing them to look at and discuss issues outside themselves--at least for a moment.

the kony 2012 video hit, and my friend maggie posted a blog basically saying she was grateful for the video in the way that it might inspire people to find a cause that means something to them and to do something about it.

so i thought about it. what is important to me? i used to be somewhat aware of politics and world events...but not since high school. since then i've been pretty focused on me and my life.

anyway i remembered a trailer i saw on facebook awhile back for miss representation, a movie about the damages of media portrayals of women. the trailer really struck a chord in me. struck something that started in my senior capstone class my final semester of college when we read and discussed the feminine mystique. i know, i know what a cliche. but not really. because we all have to start somewhere right?

i'm rambling. the point is, this is something that is important to me. it's even more important to me now that i have a daughter. i want her to know that her value as a person is not based on her appearance.

mainstream media representations of both sexes is disturbing to me, and it's something wes and i talk about a lot. in almost every show, a woman's worth is based on her sex appeal. she is otherwise portrayed as a naggy and haggard wife/mother. if she's a career woman she's often portrayed as "neurotic". a man's worth in media is based on his power. over women or in his career. men are portrayed as either overly-macho, sex-obsessed or the dumb, lazy husband. gender stereotypes are only getting worse. i think what scares me the most is that my kids are going to encounter these types of media whether they're available in my home or not. so i want to teach them to question things, and to be very aware of the subtle (or maybe not so subtle) messages that all types of media feeds to them.

still rambling. watch this video if you have a few minutes. she presents the problem and offers solutions. this is a problem that is happening not only in our own country but in our own homes. it has very real consequences for both men and women, and we can help stop it by being more conscious of the media we support. i'm thinking back to multiple family home evenings where we wrote letters to television stations that supported negative media. i'm so grateful to have parents and siblings that taught me to take action. because it's not just about awareness; it's about doing something. so this is where i'm starting.

i think dieting actually makes my eating habits worse. since i can't have xyz i crave xyz ALL DAY LONG.

but really my eating habits had nowhere to go but up, so the fact that i'm drinking two juices a day made totally of fruits and vegetables makes me feel like i'm miles ahead of...myself.

and since every post needs a little elsie, here's us today:

i'm using her to strategically cover up the gigantic zit on my chin.
speaking of, let's make this interactive. what face wash do you use? does it work? will it cure the14-year-old-boy acne that pregnancy/nursing/whatever bestowed upon me?

bebes

i came across a couple of blog posts about this book, and i'm really excited to read it. wes and i have talked about parenting a lot lately (duh).

 bringing up bebe sounds like the parenting style we've talked about, and i guess this book just kind of validated me. with all of the guilt in american parenting about not doing enough for your child or being involved enough, it's nice to see this book getting so much attention. it's OKAY that i'm not constantly in elsie's face stimulating her brains out.

as a shout-out to my mom, the kind of parenting described in reviews and other things i've read about this book sounds like the way i was raised. i knew my mom cared about me and loved me, and we did things together. but she didn't wait on me hand and foot, and she wasn't always up in my business. i took a few classes/lessons, but for the most part i was just allowed to be a kid. i was also expected to act like a human being. my mom was not crazy involved in my life, she was a stay-at-home-mom who still had her own things going on, and i turned out to be a well-adjusted adult.

which i guess just goes to show that this kind of parenting isn't necessarily "French," it's just common sense. my mom and i have talked about this a lot since i've had elsie. i think because our culture is so saturated with "experts", studies, books, and advice, we feel like we have to take our parenting cues from those sources rather than what we feel is right. i'm not sure where all this hyper-parenting came from but it seems to be damaging to the kids and the parents. there is so much negativity about motherhood...like you have to be this run-down mess because you're constantly trying to meet your kids needs. obviously some days are hard, harder than i can imagine at this point since my child doesn't do anything but sit in her chair and coo at me, but your life doesn't end when you have a baby. and having a baby isn't this SO HARD huge sacrifice every day. motherhood is inherently a sacrifice, but there is a balance. i think people are probably laughing at me right now saying yeah well just WAIT until elsie's a toddler! or until you have two! which maybe one day i'll be eating my words, but that's just what i'm talking about, the negativity and the dread. obviously i have to be realistic, but i think i dreaded motherhood for awhile because i just imagined everyday being this huge hassle, when it isn't. having a two-month old has changed my life, but not drastically. i know my life will continue to change and adjust gradually as she gets older, but it's nothing i can't handle.

lucky for me i have an excellent mom, sisters, and sisters-in-law who are great examples and give me balanced, realistic, and positive perspectives on motherhood.

blah blah blah i am RAMBLING. but this is the stuff i think about now.

anyway. i'm excited to read it.

kiss kiss.

INSANITY

so i just took the insanity workout fitness test...
and i was out of breath by the time the warm up was over.

sometimes i get depressed thinking i hit my fitness peak at 13 years old (bailie's gymnastics 4eva).

momness

it's easy to think that every minute of the day you aren't doing enough for your baby. whether that be because you're finally throwing in the towel with nursing after 4 infections and myriad of other problems or reading sample schedules on babycenter.com for a 2 month old that make you feel like a slob of a mother. (well first i sing to him for two hours then we walk around the house and talk about everything in the house then we sing head shoulders knees and toes because i'm constantly teaching my child then we read a book-- are you kidding me with this woman???).

bleh. i always feel like miss elsie and i are doing just fine until mommy forums come in. mommy forums are for the kind of people who put honor student bumper stickers on their car. whatever. i truly hate the internet. elsie likes her bouncy chair. we talk. we chill. we nap. we eat. we watch too much tv. we read blogs and judge. life's good okay. my baby is cooler than your baby.

but seriously, elsie is a dream, which is something i can't really take credit for. she just came awesome. we're eternally grateful for her sleeping habits and her happy demeanor, and aside from all the nursing nightmares, life's been pretty dreamy since 12/23/11.

people have asked me if i feel "trapped" or if being a new mom is "so hard." to the first i put out a resounding NO. to the second i say yes and no. of course some days are hard. some days baby cries and cries and you have a headache and you are in pain and you just want some taco bell but you don't want to pack everything in the car just to go down the street (just kidding. okay. no i'm not). but the vast majority of days i'm happier than i've ever been, which isn't a knock on any other past periods of my life, but having a baby just brings a level of happiness you've never really known. this tiny smiling person who needs you for everything. to finally be the one that a baby stops crying for when you hold her. the excitement of each new development. watching your husband become a father. and the cuddling. oh the cuddling.

life's good. elsie thinks so too. even if i don't sing to her for two hours every day.